When Parenting Gets Scary

Halloween came early for on of my mom's friends. She walked into her house on Saturday night to the scariest thing any parent could ever walk in on.

There were a bunch of guys partying in her living room while her daughter was in the room having sex with one of he boys. My mom said very matter of fact, "Yeah, she was pulling a train". I've never heard that term before, leave it to my mom to know that stuff. I don't know why her knowledge of everything seedy surprises me since she's a Counselor at a Methadone Clinic. As for what "pulling a train" means, I'll leave that one to your imagination.

What a nightmare! Can you imagine walking in on that scene? And the worse part...she was babysitting.  One can only hope the kid was asleep the whole time.  Parents be warned.   Make sure you know your babysitter well.  Very well.

While discussing this with some friends, one of them mentioned how lucky I am that I have boys and won't have to worry about such issues. What the hell do you mean I won't have to worry? As if I would be okay with my boys being a part of such a thing. I do agree that you have less worries with boys, but just because they're boys that type of behavior would not be acceptable. We'll have to teach them not to be putting their thingy into dirty things, or else it will shrivel up and fall off.

It's a scary, scary world. Kids are no longer kids. Where a french kiss was such a big deal when I was a teenager, it no longer is. Now it's all about oral sex. Blow jobs are the new french kiss. What the hell is wrong with society to bring us to this point. To bring our kids to this point. And how do we turn this around.  People, take control of your horny teenagers.

Thank goodness my kids are the biggest dorks around and we're not even close to having to deal with such issues, but I know it's around the corner. It starts innocently enough, like this post I read on Y's blog. They grow so fast, I wish I could stop them. When those hormones start raging, this parenting gig will become more difficult, and I'm frightened.

He's Baaack!

I survived the weekend all alone. Travis went to his cousin's wedding in Pittsburgh and in the 14 years we've been married, we haven't been apart more than about 5 times. We're not super clingy with eachother; when we're home we tend to stay in our own space, and we periodically meet in the middle for a little conversation, TV watching, or the occassional beer. But having him gone all night, that's when I get a little clingy. Thank goodness there weren't any cocaroaches or bugs that needed killing, I'm pretty helpless when it comes to those things. But we survived, and now our little family is whole again.

Although, this morning, Travis did something that bugs the ever living crap out of me. And I thought to myself, "he's back". When he hears the dogs barking to be let out at the wee hour of 5 am, instead of just getting up, because he's the one that heard it, he TRIES to wake me up. I pretend to be sound asleep so he eventually gets up and does it himself. Why it bugs me so much is that if he's awake enough to try to wake me up, then he better just get his ass out of bed and do it himself. Seriously! I have the honor of sleeping in my bed, at night about 4 times a week, so sleep is precious. I couldn't believe he tried it this morning after being gone for 3 days.

He's back and that's all that matters. I missed so much that I spent the whole weekend cleaning and babysitting. I've really got to get myself a life.

He's Baaack!

I survived the weekend all alone. Travis went to his cousin's wedding in Pittsburgh and in the 14 years we've been married, we haven't been apart more than about 5 times. We're not super clingy with eachother; when we're home we tend to stay in our own space, and we periodically meet in the middle for a little conversation, TV watching, or the occassional beer. But having him gone all night, that's when I get a little clingy. Thank goodness there weren't any cocaroaches or bugs that needed killing, I'm pretty helpless when it comes to those things. But we survived, and now our little family is whole again.

Although, this morning, Travis did something that bugs the ever living crap out of me. And I thought to myself, "he's back". When he hears the dogs barking to be let out at the wee hour of 5 am, instead of just getting up, because he's the one that heard it, he TRIES to wake me up. I pretend to be sound asleep so he eventually gets up and does it himself. Why it bugs me so much is that if he's awake enough to try to wake me up, then he better just get his ass out of bed and do it himself. Seriously! I have the honor of sleeping in my bed, at night about 4 times a week, so sleep is precious. I couldn't believe he tried it this morning after being gone for 3 days.

He's back and that's all that matters. I missed so much that I spent the whole weekend cleaning and babysitting. I've really got to get myself a life.

I Love My Mac

My husband hijacked my Macbook for the past few days and that rendered me unable to blog or read blogs.  Without my pretty little Mac,   I have to use the Dell.  As if!  I can't believe I've become a computer snob, but that Mac... Oh how I love you Mac.  You know the commercials where the older chubby guy is the PC and the cute, fit, young guy is the Mac.  It's so true, every bit of it.  And who would you rather run your fingers all over?   

Voices in My Head

After a day of sleeping, I woke up with a sore, stiff neck.  Which reminds me of the cutest thing Ethan said  when he was about 5 years old.  He woke up one morning with a stiff neck, and after a while he thought he had figured out the source of his problem.   "MOM!  I know why I woke up with a sniff neck, it's because Chico (the dog) sniffed my neck!"   

Get it?  Sniff neck.  Sniff...ha ha.  Okay, so I'm the only one amused by this.  Well, if his mother can't laugh at him then who can?

I remember feeling disheartened at having to explain to him that it was sTiff, not sNiff.  He had been so excited to figure out why his neck hurt.  Those little things my kids say always stay with me. 

Every time I complain to my poor beleaguered colleague that I have a stiff neck, inside I hear Ethan's little voice saying "I have a sniff neck". 

Maybe Travis sniffed my neck a little too much when he gave my that ugly hickey. 

Sorry, sleep deprivation makes for some bad posting.  Sore of neck and bleary of  eye, I trudge on.

Monkey Bites

My husband, he gave me a hickey.  (Is that how you spell hickey?)  I'll spare you the gory details, because first of all, this isn't that type of blog, an secondly, my mother-in-law reads this.  But, I have a lovely hickey in a spot that's not so easy to hide.  I've never had a hickey.  I don't like them, I don't like walking around with one.  I feel like I'm advertising that I have sex.  I'm sure people assume that, but I don't feel the need to advertise it to the teachers at school, the cafeteria lady, my colleagues, the children. 

If I was 14 years old, I'd probably be pretty proud of it, but I'm not.  I'm embarassed by it.  What happened to the good old days when this would have been a badge of honor. 

Travis felt bad about it and we attempted to make it less pronounced with the frozen spoon trick.  The only problem is we couldn't remember exactly what you do with the frozen spoon.  Do you use the rounded part to rub the hickey out, I always thought you scraped at it with the edge of the spoon.  However, being that I've never had a hickey, how am I supposed to know this stuff.  I'm sure it's just an old wives tale anyway and doesn't even work at all.  Which, It didn't.  I'm a mom for crying out loud, not a gum smacking, heavy eyeliner wearing, hickey sporting, chick.  How long do these things last anyway?

Page 23 Recommends...

There's nothing better than finding a good book to get lost in. It's not an easy feat. I usually tend to go with recommendations from Book Sense .   

Recently I signed up for a newsletter from Jennifer Weiner where she will send me her wonderful book recommendations. First of all, I love Jennifer Weiner, I loved her books and I love her blog. Her blog is the BLOG that introduced me into the world of blogs. To imagine that 2 years ago I didn't know what a blog was (lets see how many times I can say blog). Anyway, after I read her books, in search for more information about my new favorite author, I ran across her blog. I read it for a while then one day, feeling adventurous, I clicked on one of her links. It was Dooce. I was hooked. Then from Dooce and her blog roll, I was off and running so I'm definitely looking for more reading recommendations from Jennifer.

Another new source for book recommendations is Page 23. That's how I found the book I'm currently reading. I haven't been able to blog, because I can't but the book down.  I love this book. If you liked Prep by Curtis Sittenfeld, you'll like this one even more.   It's Prep, but smarter and with a murder mystery. 

I can't find a site for Page 23 recommends, but this is what their book mark says.

"Page 23 recommendations turn you on to writing that speaks directly to a new generations of readers hungry for books outside the mainstream. New, edgy fiction, nonfiction and poetry that all too often pass under the radar of the Sunday book page and the major chain bookstores. Books that demand and deserve our attention. Books for the rest of us."

I like that.

So, off to your favorite independent bookstore you go.  Happy reading.

I Feel Like a Hippie

I really stink y'all.  I've been at work for 9 hours and I just realized that I forgot to put deodorant on.  It disturbs me to no end that I would forget such an important part of my grooming routine.  Our work space is tiny.  A small room in a major hospital's ER.  Small room = everyone smells your smell.  Worse of all, you smell everyone else.  Ick!  I guess I should be grateful that the Physicians I have to work with are used to smells that are much worse. 

And to top it off, when I leave here at 6 am, I have to go to our corporate office for a short training.  Who the hell would hold a training at 6:30 am?  That's the problem with a company that's open 365 days a year, 24 hour a day.  So, they will be subjected to my smells as well.  Oh well, at least I remembered clean underwear.  Oh and my Burt's Bees Lip Balm.   I can't live without that.  What's the one product that you just can't be without?

Fashion Faux Pas

If you know me, you know that I love me some celebrity gossip.  Which is why I usually visit Perezhilton.com.  His blog often times shocks me with photos of half naked celebrities, but what I saw last night...there are just no words.  Perhaps an Ewwwwwwwwwwww! is in order, because Ewwww. 

Don't click on this link if you're easily offended.  It's Lindsay Lohan, so how shocking could it be?  Lets just say that Lindsay pulled a Britney, but instead of no shoes, she opted for no undies.  I don't know what's more disturbing here, the no undies, or the no hair.

I feel all pervy talking about the pictures, but it's kinda of like a bad car wreck.  You don't want to look, but the voyeur always gets the best of you and you just can't help yourself.  I'm just always surprised at what these young girls (I just aged myself by 10 years by calling them that) think they can get away with when there are so many eyes and lenses focused on their every move.  Then when something bad comes out, they begrudge the very thing that keeps their celebrity status in tact.  The paparazzo.  All I can say is poor, poor Lindsay.  Obviously her mama didn't teach her that you never ever leave the house without clean underwear, or without underwear for that matter, especially when wearing a short flowy dress.

Those Were the Days

I found this picture yesterday. Tristan was a couple of months old in this picture and next month he will be a decade old. A WHOLE DECADE! I can't believe I've been mothering for a decade. Also, I notice how young Travis looks. All the years as a Mailman in Arizona are really wearing on him.

In this picture I look so happy, and naive, and blissfully unaware of how much motherhood is really going to change my life. Back then I never would have imagined that I'd one day have to explain what gay means or who the first humans on Earth were. I wish I could go back to this day and once again feel all the hope and excitement that belongs to only a new mother.

I'm not sure why my eyes are half colsed.  Travis said that I was just very chubby-happy.  Thanks Travis!  Although, I'm sure it was sleep deprivation.

Dog Tricks

My life has gone to the dogs...literally. It's been all about one tiny little 4 lb dog, and his ass.

He has some type of abrasion right next to his little pooper. We don't know how it got there, and it's been tough trying to get it to heal. Yesterday the poor guy was pretty lethargic, so we were worried. We know the key to healing was for him to stop licking it. Yeah, you try telling a dog not to lick his butt. Even worse, try telling him not to let another dog lick his butt. It's an impossibility.

So, since the little diaper thing I had bought to cover up the "area" wasn'tn going to work, Travis got creative and made a little something special. That helped block the area and so the licking is under control. He's feeling better, which is awesome because we woke up at 4 am with a bleeding dog, and the 4 vets I called today were booked solid. They didn't even have room for walk-ins. Are there that many pets in my area? That just seems crazy.

We made this out of a tube sock. It wasn't easy which explains the tail like thing. We really had a good laugh at the expense of the poor dog. Don't worry, he's getting lots of TLC. We still can't figure out how he got an abrasion in that area. We figired it happened when our other dog couldn't stop humping him and the friction caused an abrasion, or perhaps he was trying to wipe soom excess poop off and rubed himself on a rock. You see, I told you my life has gone to the dogs. We have had one too many conversations involving this dog and his, you know.