The Longest Day Ever

I changed a flat tire today for the very first time.  Well, it was yesterday for normal folks.  For me it was today because my day hasn't ended yet.  How is it that my day hasn't ended.  Let me fill you in and bore you just a little.

Took the kids to school then headed to the Y for step aerobics.  About half way through, I seriously thought I might puke.  I was so ready to give up, but I didn't.  Boy am I regretting that now.  The glutes and abs, they are a killing me.  I then went home and laid down for a little while, knowing that I would be working all night long.  My nap sessions are always interrupted.  Today, it was my lovely sister who had to use my computer.  I then decided to be nice and take some lunch out to Travis, since I wasn't sleeping anyway.  I'm kinda nice like that sometimes.  As I was pulling out of the driveway, I noticed the flat.  Not just a little flat, all the way flat.  Crap, Travis is at work, whatever shall I do!

First thing was to call Travis to tell him to get his own  lunch, I've got my hands full.  Mal and I proceeded to remove the tire so that we could take it in to be patched up.  After lots of sweat, giggles, and cursing, the tire was off.  We dropped it off to be fixed and headed out to lunch.  As we were putting the tire back on, the kids showed up.  I then got distracted talking to my friend Suzette who dropped the kids off.  By the time my house was cleared out, it was 4 pm.  2 hours to go until I had to be at work.  I laid down and attempted a nap.  I probably got 15 minutes.  And now, it's 3 am.  Talk about a long day.

The worst part is that my ovaries are killing me.  I had my period 2 weeks ago, so I freaked when I noticed some spotting this morning.  Then the cramps started.  My first thought was could I have been pregnant and not have known it?  Could this be a miscarriage?  I've never had one, and I've never been unexpectedly pregnant.  We have done good with our family planning, so I doubt that's the problem.  But the pain, and nausea...it sucks.  The benefit of being at work is that free medical advice is but an e-mail away.  This is what my favorite nurse at work  said when I asked if a cyst could come on that sudden.

"They can. One day your fine, the next day and jiggling of the body or a cough could put you on the floor until it decides to rupture. Most of them are function cyst caused by hormone changes in the body, …you know, the kind of changes that are due to age!!"

So, I'm blaming it on the exercise.  If the pain doesn't subside, I guess I'll have to see a Doctor tomorrow.  Sheesh! As if one pelvic exam a year wasn't enough.

I just hope every thing's okay.  Maybe that's why I didn't get pregnant when we tried.  We're out of our fucking minds to start all over anyway, but the babies... they smell so good.

Do you smell that smell?

"Our ability to remember what we've smelled is stronger than our ability to recall what we've seen."   Brian Luke Seaward, Ph.D.

Is there a smell that for some reason makes you feel happy and safe.  You don't know why, or what it is about that smell, but it gets to you. 

When I'm at work at the hospital, I like to go the back way to the cafeteria.  It's pretty creepy down there, as it's way way down stairs, and the halls are pretty empty.  For some reason I always take that route.  Tonight while I was down there, I realized that I like that route because the smells down there make me feel warm and fuzzy.  I know that's pretty hard to believe since generally, hospitals are pretty stinky.  I, however, realized tonight that the reason I enjoy the smell is because I walk right by the laundry room, and what I'm smelling is laundry detergent.  It's the smell of the blanket my baby was wrapped in when he was first handed over to me, many years ago.  I always remember that smell, in fact, I still have one of those blankets tucked away, unwashed.   You know the one, and I'll bet you've got one tucked away too.  That smell brings back so many memories.  It's the smell of holding my baby and kissing his little head for the first time.  For me it's the smell of new beginnings and old memories all at once. It's a smell that ensures that I will never forget, even though all that seems so far away.

Who I Look Like

Since I have nothing better to say today, I copied this from here.  Her celebrity look-a-likes were way better than mine.  Admittedly, this isn't the best photo as it was taken with a cell phone, and the bags under the eyes...not too attractive.  But what are ya gonna do?  I really wanted to see who I look like, and this is the only picture I had at work.  I might try this again with a different picture.  I find it interesting that the only Hispanic person on my collage is Alexis Bledel (and she's only half).  I guess I shouldn't be surprised by the Asian celebrities since I usually get asked if I'm Asian.   So, who do you look like? 

This has nothing to do with my celebrity look-a-like thingy, but this morning on the way to school, the kid we carpool with said the funniest thing: "Nila, next time you decide to make a boy, could you make it with an off switch".  Um, okay Emma.  I'll keep that in mind. 

We're Finally Catching Up

I am pleased to announce that I am writing this from the comfort of my couch. I finally got the internet going on the laptop; thanks to Verizon and their Home Office Kit. It gives you a little cord you hook up to your cell phone, and the cell phone acts as your modem. I'm in awe with the way technology is going. I'm pretty new to all this stuff, but boy is it fun. I can use the inernet anywhere, as long as I've got my cell phone with me. Imagine the possibilities. I think I may become addicted. When will I ever find time to read. I guess bathroom time will make good reading time, but then again the lap top can go in there as well. Nah, that would be going a tad far; wouldn't it?

We've found yet another way to keep ourselves amused in our casita locita.


Aren't we pretty? I guess this is what we'd look like as aliens.

We've probably spent way too much time craking ourselves up with this feature, but the kids lauging-that's the best sound.

Titles are totally overrated

I've had blogger's block, and I finally typed up a nice little post, and then it disappeared.

The end.

Okay, so it's not then end, but I don't feel like writing it over.  This sucks.

What I wanted to tell you is that the school thing is in full swing.  The kids are doing great, they're adjusting just fine.  I on the other hand, am lagging behind.  We were late 3 days this week, and I had to explain to the very stressed out kids that it's only the first week, I'll get the hang of it.  I'd forgotten how much work was involved with this school stuff.  Between homework and  making sure they have clean underwear...I'm tired just thinking about it.  And it's only just begun.  I can't believe that I actually miss the simplicity of summer vacation.  We didn't have to leave our house if we didn't want to, and I could lounge around in my pajamas all day without having to wash my face or brush my teeth.  I know I'm gross.  Whatever...whaa, I miss summer vacation.

On a less whiny, but happy note...my sister is getting married.  She informed me that they're not making the engagement official until she's divorced.  Nah, we're not dysfunctional, just a little backwards.  I am happy for her and excited for the planning involved.  Her first wedding was a shot gun wedding, so you can imagine our excitement with this wedding.  Too bad we'll have to contain our excitement until she's divorced.    I wonder if she'll make me her maid of honor.  Me,  her only sister, the person who takes care of her children while the tramp lives it up in San Diego (she's not really a tramp, I'm just envious that I'm not there).  Or will she choose her best friend.  What a conundrum. 

Whatever the case may be, I've been watching lots of Bridezillas and Who's Wedding is it Anyway,  so I'm ready.  Bring on the bridezilla.  Bring on the teacher-zillas.  Once I have a good nap, I'll be ready to tackle anything.

A Short Day...Literally

I took Tris in for blood work on Friday morning, and it was torture.  It was required by his endocrinologist as part of his continuing growth hormone therapy.  He didn't want to do it.  In fact we'd put it off for weeks, but I figured I'd better get on it with school starting on Monday.  He really tried to talk his way out of it, but I knew we had no choice.   The Humatrope that he's on costs $1200.00 a month, and our insurance actually covers it.  That's a lot of moolah, and although we're not as consistent with giving him the injections as we should be, I'm not going to give up on it. 

However, I can't stand torturing him like that.  While on the way there he was talking about all the small people and animals he knows that should probably also be on growth hormones too.  I had to remind him that first of all, he's not on growth hormones because he's small or short.  Heck, his dad's 5'6.  What kind of shallow, bitch of a mom would I be if I made him do this just because of his size.  I had to remind him that the reason he takes the shots is because those hormones, or lack there of,  affect the way his whole body develops.   When we first began this journey, his muscles were not developing properly.  When he was 5, a neurologist told us that he had mushy, baby muscles.  That was our main motivator to go ahead with the therapy.

And then, to top off our day, when we went to the  welcoming at his school, we were faced with the size issue, again.  He has a new teacher, and when we walked in, she thought that E-dog was the 5th grader, not Tris.  She even commented to Tris that it's not fair that his brother is so much taller.  I realize that she meant to harm with her comment, but it always bothers me a little.  I want to stomp on people for their ignorance.  Okay, so you figured out that he's short, do you really have to say something to him about it.  I do like his teacher though, so this isn't against her.

I realize that he has a rough road ahead of him.  As a male, being short is never easy.  His dad's nickname at work is "Keebler" as in the Keebler elf.  Kids are mean, but adults are meaner because they should know better, and comments like the teacher's are something he'll have to deal with his whole life.

I just wish that people weren't so visual  Their initial reaction is to treat him like he's younger.  Little do they know what a big heart he has.  What a wonderful, goofy, intelligent kid he is.  I love him so much, there are no words to describe how incredibly proud I am of him.   Great things really do come in small packages.

May I have a little cheese with my WHINE?

I loathe sinus infections. 

On the bright side, Travis just said that "the rain's coming, the rain's coming!".  He's really excited about it, apparently. 

The main reason to loathe sinus infections, which I seemed to be stuck with at the moment, is that I haven't had the energy to get the Internet going on our new lap top.  Finally, we have one.  Unfortunately, since it's our first foray into the world of laptops, I don't know what I'm doing so it will take time.  And, Travis has been working long hours and is working on another project right now.  I thought for sure I'd be tucked away somewhere cozy with my new little friend reading all my favorite blogs, but my sinuses have other plans for me.  Instead, the kids are logging plenty of time on it, as is Travis. 

Along with the very exciting storm, we're excited that school begins in 2 days.  I'm actually going to miss those little buggers hanging around the house all day.  Tris has spent the last couple of days laying down with me, and just talking my ear off.  I guess that's one good thing about being sick.  It slows you down.  I hadn't had time like that with them in so long, so that was good.  However, their energy is now overflowing, and lessons are winding down to an end.  So, the natives are getting quite restless, and just a little wacky. 

I don't know what happened all these days that I haven't blogged.  All I know is that time flies when your having fun, or not so much fun.  Which is the worst.  I've been busy cleaning out closets, back to school shopping, training children to take a shower again, not to mention the little painting project in the dog room.  I'm trying to organize so that we're ready for the chaos that is the first day of school.  Getting little kids up early for the first time is not fun.  One week to go, and counting.  One week to freedom.

In my cleaning out of closets, I ran across this painting.  I think I've mentioned before how my husband is so wonderfully talented.  He is a great artist, and I don't say that because I'm biased.  When we were first dating and he showed me some slides of his work, I couldn't believe they were his.  I totally thought "this guys just trying to impress me".  Alas, it was all true and I have had the pleasure of watching the process first hand.  The way he can sit for hour upon hour, layering color over color, until he's satisfied.  And the end result still impresses me.

The problem is that lately he hasn't been inspired to draw or paint, or do anything to hone his artistic skills.  He's been too preoccupied with work issues, and he lost his drive.  This saddens me.  I wish I could say that I was his muse or that I could inspire him, but I can't.  I don't think I have ever been able to.  It's all in him, although lately it's just not there. 

So I ask, what gets you going?  What gets your creative juices flowing (so to speak)?  How do I get his creative juices going?  And what do I do with this painting that he  hasn't finished but I love anyway.  He said that he's not going to fix, but I like it so much.  I know it looks a little odd because both faces are a different style.  He probably didn't know what direction to go in, but I like the way his face looks.  So tell me, should I frame it the way it is, or put it away in a closet hoping that he'll one day be inspired to pick up a brush or color pencil. 

My 8 Year Old

Ethan had his 8th birthday 3 days ago.  I've being trying to write about it since then, but being the bad busy mom that I am, I haven't had a chance.  And where to begin when there is so much to say about such a special little person. 

Right after I had Tris, I knew I wanted another baby.  2 months later, I was ready, but I knew my body would protest, so I waited.  It was a year of bliss because I didn't even bother losing any of the 40 pounds I had gained during my 1st pregnancy.  I knew I would be pregnant again, very soon.  Apparently the Pectocin they gave me for pain during labor had some type of psychotropic effect on me.  Was I really ready for another baby?  My mind and heart told me that I was.  So, as soon as Tris turned a year, we were off and running with our plan for another baby.  But, be careful what you wish for.  Tris turned 1 year in October, and that's when I got pregnant, again. 

My first thoughts were: Oh shit!  Now what?  My plan worked, and now I don't know if I want another baby.  I mean, I'm just now getting to know this new person  in my life, and now I have to get to know another one, and can I really love another baby.  I love this one so much, how will it be possible?  Whaaaaa!  My boobs hurt, I'm nauseous and I have to change a poopy diaper. 

Well, those feeling lasted about 3 months, but as E-dog started to move around and the idea of him became more real, I began to settle down.  I still had a lot of guilt issues.  I thought I was cheating Tris of my time and love by bringing in a new baby so soon.  But as that belly grows, and the kicks become as routine as a fart, most feelings of doubt were laid to rest.  Not all, but most.

When E-dog was born, it was love at first sight.  My big 8 pound baby boy.  I had decided not to even attempt nursing E-dog, as I had so many problems with Tris and with another child under 2 years old at home, I didn't think I could cope with chapped nipples.  I remember telling the nurse that I thought he was hungry and needed a bottle.  She insisted that he wasn't ready to eat, so I convinced another nurse to bring me a bottle.  And when she did, that little guy gulped it down so fast.  That's my first memory of E-dog, and it reminds me of who he is today, and how he has such a hunger for life.  I realize this sounds corny and cliche, but it's true.  That kid is so full of life, I'm amazed by him every day.

I'm amazed by his heart, and compassion, and lest I forget his sense of humor.  When he knows I've had a rough night and I'm trying to take a nap, I'll often wake up to find him laying with me rubbing my arm, with the goofiest, sweetest grin on his face.  He tells me he loves me so many times a day, and he tells me I'm beautiful.  He loves to make funny faces (which often get him in trouble, especially when he's on the basketball court and his dad gets on him for not paying attention to the game).  He has the best laugh and with his big new teeth, he has a pretty great smile too. 

At his birthday sleepover on Saturday, one of his friends introduced him to this video of Lambchop  doing the Numa Numa song, and he's addicted to it.  I've heard it so many times, I'm convinced that's the song they play in hell.  Over and over again.  But it makes him laugh and when I hear that laugh, I can tolerate anything.  Well almost anything.

So, to my Heely wearing, bad joke loving, big toothed, thinks he's too cool for school, kid.  I'm so glad you were born.  I'm so glad I've been able to spend the last 2923 days with you, and I truly look forward to the rest.  I know I might end up with a few grey hairs along the way with you kid, but it'll be worth every one.

 

I miss those chubby cheeks.  Where have the years gone?